Building the Perfect Nest

I’m nesting.  At least I think I am.  Do men nest when their partner is pregnant?  Google says yes, maybe.  Actually, it says we go out and buy safe cars and big TVs, but is that nesting?

Why would my brain be telling me to fortify the nest?  After all, I’m not lugging around another human being in my belly – I’ve not had a sniffle of a hormone change (that I know of anyway).  My wife, on the other hand, she’s most definitely nesting.  No doubt about that.  The baby’s room is done.  All items are purchased and assembled.  A thorough (and I mean thorough) house-cleaning including window power washing, carpet cleaning and who knows what else has been performed (not by her).  We took an entire weekend a few weeks ago and reviewed every room in the house, one-by-one, with “stay/go” decisions on every item, which was only completed when I made a midnight run with 15 garbage bags to a local “private” dumpster (oops!).

Her nest is ready for its chick.  Am I just following her lead?

Up until the last few weeks, I don’t think I’ve really noticed anything different about myself since Amy became pregnant.  Sure, I’m nervous about her and the baby, and how our three-year old Alex will adjust.  I’ve put on maybe 5 pounds, but who can resist the call of a late-night McDonald’s hot fudge sundae or a Boston crème donut? Not me, I can assure you.

What!  There is Panda  Express drive-thru. Getting in car now.

What! There is Panda Express drive-thru. Getting in car now.

And, I’ve had terrible “sympathy” insomnia, going to bed no earlier than 1am every night as Amy struggles to sleep at all.  And, okay, I’ve had one crazy craving; after really never eating it, I crave Panda Express like no one’s business.  I have no idea why, but it’s like the best food ever.  When I found myself at Panda Express at 10pm in the middle of the week last week, I thought maybe that’s what a craving feels like.  Anyway, most of this is “on the margin” – small little things that I could easily explain away as just simple anxiety or empathy… but then I started to nest. Or at least I think I did:

1)   I voluntarily gave up my beloved man-cave to transform into the baby’s room.  All my hard work and love is now stored in boxes – and except for a few moments, I don’t miss it at all.

2)   I’ve spent the last few weeks researching and test-driving new cars – some of which are big enough to hold a family of 8.

3)   Electronics and other media are driving me crazy; I’ve deleted any app on my iPhone I haven’t used in a while; bought Alex an iPad so that his stuff doesn’t continue to be mixed in with Amy’s apps/videos (they share an iPad now); I’ve called the cable company to reduce our TV package since all we watch is Disney Junior; I’m currently recycling any electronics in the house that we aren’t using.

4)   I had a locksmith come and secure every door that leads to outside; it takes 5 minutes now to leave our house.

5)   I created a pantry in the garage (Amy freaked out when I started storing food in the garage so that didn’t go well) and clean parts of the garage on an almost daily basis; I have enough bottled water, toilet paper and paper towels to last a month.

6)   I obsess daily about whether I can create new storage places in our house; we have more empty drawers and cabinets in our house than ever before.

Me and the Mrs. at her baby shower (notice the short -- for me -- hair)

Me and the Mrs. at her baby shower (notice the short — for me — hair)

Not convinced yet?

I’ve taken on more consulting work in the past two months than I have in the past year.  My drive to provide for my family is greater now than it’s been since I quit full time work in 2011.

And if that doesn’t convince you – or me – that I’m nesting, I have five words for you that will:

I cut off my hair (at least a full 3+ inches of it).

Panda Express photo courtesy of

Categories: Parenting, Pregnancy

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9 replies »

  1. I love you Neil Cohen! You still make me laugh. So happy for you guys and can’t wait to meet (virtually) your new addition! Hope your puppy is adjusting as well:)

  2. I think that men definitely go through a nesting phase. I remember going through and securing everything, checking for any rusty nail that was poking out of a board anything and everything that would be a hazard to my child.

  3. Love the new “do”, the photo of you and Amy and your blog. How wonderful it is for all of us (readers) to share this special time with the three of you (plus new puppy). Congrats once again and I eagerly await the next installment.


    • Thanks Denise. Feels so good to have “short” hair again 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting, I love that you take the time to read my blog. I’m working on some more stories. I hope you’re doing well!

  4. Oh, men nest. At least that has been my own personal experience around each of my three kids. (We just had our third and I’m still doing it. I was up again at 3:30 and finished organizing our kitchen this morning.) I have other friends who have told me the same; they go on a crazy spree around the house.

    There’s a marketing study in here somewhere.

    • Thanks Alan for reading and communing. There’s definitely a study in there and someone who can figure out the right marketing campaign too will likely make some serious money. There’s not a lot of marketing in general too expecting fathers, at least not that I’ve seen.

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